10/01/22
Hello and welcome to part 43 and start of a new week and not best start weather wise as it is grey and rainy again. Last night when I got to bed Helen asked me if I had locked the door and turned out all the lights. now I know this is just a little thing but she has not said this to me since before Christmas and I noticed her words were not so slurred, this morning she woke early and turned light on and wanted breakfast she was speaking a lot better and seemed to remember a few things as well, now I am not expecting miracles but any small thing at the moment is a bonus, although she is not feeling so good since I got back from the shops her speech has improved, she is having a sleep at the moment and am hoping she feel a bit better so she can have a shower and I can change the bed sheets and just make her feel a bit fresher, I am not sure if she will come through tonight this all depends on how she feels but I just want her to be as calm as she can and if that happens with just clean sheets and a shower then that's what I shall do. I am trying to be better a bit more patience as I know she is really finding things hard and really I need to let her take or get things out of her system. For now I think as she is sleeping I may go for a wee walk before we start showers and the likes. Well no shower as Helen wants to wait until tomorrow, but as days go this has been ok Helen definitely more like herself and we sat in bed for an hour holding hands and chatting had a cup of tea and bight to eat together as well. She did go downhill a bit but i think she was just tired nd hoping wee sleep will do her good. I will take anything at the moment no matter how small. 11/01/22
Well not to bad a start to the morning as things go, Helen has had her shower and has dressed and although still in bed she does look like her self and her speech continues to improve but she is still dizzy and forgetful but maybe not as bad, she is having a kip and then I’m going to wake her up for lunch around two then i am going to strip the bed and put clean stuff back on so it will all feel nice and fresh if Helen’s wants to go back. I have been out to the ships then took a wee drive around the countryside and got a bit of fresh air and again i may try and fit in a walk early evening but will have to wait and see what Helen wants to do but if it is have another sleep then yeah i will go out for a while. We spoke this morning and it was good to sit together and well just enjoy each other’s company. Just had lunch with Helen and she has changed a good bit she is talking much better and i also think (she would probably not agree) but i think she is walking slightly better. So managed a couple of photographs to post here.
Well tea is done and i am sitting on my own while Helen has a rest, have a few things to do need a shave big time then shower, Helen’s niece and sister phoned and both agree that she is speaking much better. So for now i shall leave it here as well not much else to report at the moment.
12/01/21
Been an early start today Helen was awake for eight and decided she would like an early breakfast which was fine as it has given me a bit of time to clean house as the McMillan nurse is due at 14-00, Helen still much the same as yesterday she is speaking well and her memory is not to bad or as bad but still forgetful at times seems when she is bit tired and she did say that she never slept well over night so i have come out to the cave and said to her to try and have an hour sleep before she gets up to see the nurse and if she is up in time i can change the bed at last as i have been trying to do this for the last 4 days. I am going to check the tyres on my mountain bike so if all is ok tomorrow i am going to go and cycle around panmuirfield which is nice and close to the house and after Helen’s has been for bloods on Friday i hope to fit in another but of course this is all if Helen’s feels i can leave her alone for an hour.
I was bit bored last night so decided to take a photo and just have a wee play with editing and this kind of suits my mood feel like i have a cloud of red mist in front of me and i am thinking how do i clear this mist and the only answer i can come up with is just carry on with what i am doing and grab hold of every glimmer of light that comes through.Well McMillan nurse came to see Helen and she is going to see if she can organise a walking aid for Helen tot use around the house and is going to look at a few other things to help with day to day life, it has been a good night as Helen treated me to a chipper tea and she has sat up in the living room watching some tv, she does look tired now so not sure how much longer she will last but good news is there is a fresh clean bed waiting for her but as days go this has been good. It was a lovely sunset tonight so I went out and took a couple of photos.
13/01/22
Today has been fine up until now Helen had a better nights sleep and we both sat and had breakfast together which Helen said was nice, Joyce her sister is coming around at 2-30 so we shall have a cup of tea and some cake as we have plenty of cake and biscuits thanks to the lovely girls at my work they are as I have always said just great people and I am lucky to have them as friends. I have to go out again to my doctors to pick up a new line for being of and he has put it in for three months this time and he was very nice and wished us that things go nice and smoothly, Helen sat with me until ten o'clock last night and I have to say it was just so good to have her through in the living room, she said that I am hoping for a miracle which won't happen, well I said I would be stupid not to hope for a miracle even though it might not happen but won't I won't stop doing is looking for a wee chink of light even you talking better even you coming to sit with me for a while if that is all I can hope for then yes I will continue to hope that no matter what happens your beside me as I am with you all through this time.
Another parcel from one of the lovely nurses at work
Joyce Helen's sister has been and was nice to see her especially for Helen as it did give them both a small boost, Joyce of course is worried of course and just wants to see her sister and she is good as she stays an hour and half but if she can see Helen getting tired she will leave that bit earlier. I have bought myself a bluetooth headband as I'm finding it hard to shut down things in my brain at times, I do try and meditate but not managing much at the moment and hoping if I wear this even over my eyes the dark and peacefulness will help me to just turn off for a while even if it is only for fifteen minutes and it will be connected to my phone so if Helen wants she can buzz me as well while I have it on. So for today I sign off and as days go it has been another good one, I am not sure if Helen will be through to sit with me tonight but she has been here during the day.
14/01/22
Good morning and happy Friday and it has been another early start Helen was awake around 7-30 so we lay a while before breakfast which was a simple breakfast of rolls with ham and cheese, got helens clothes ready for her appointment this morning at 11-30 and hopefully we can stay out for a while as it is not to bad today bit cloudy and windy but no rain. I have to go to my doctor to pick up my line and well we shall see how Helen feels and if she would like to stay out or just head home but as I have said I hope she would like to stay out for a while.
Well we did stay out for a while and enjoyed a nice sunny day, Helen’s bloods were fine well getting them taken was fine, we headed to sit beside the water for a while and just enjoy looking out across the Tay for 20minutes before we headed to get something for tea and then we grabbed a coffee for me and a tea for Helen and sat down at the esplanade watching the world go buy and i am sure Helen loved just being beside the sea and it was so calm, we sat for about 40min then a wee drive before home as Helen was getting a bit tired, so we are now home and Helen is having a lie down and well i am doing my blog. My Bluetooth band arrived and i hope this helps me to relax and maybe even a bit of meditation 🧘♀️.
So i think i may treat myself to a wee dram or a couple of we bottles of wine tonight as well as days go this or the last two have been ok just seeing Helen speak or just smiling yes all she has gone through all she has been told she smiles and she has a gorgeous smile, well she is a gorgeous lady.
15/01/22
Saturday morning up early and breakfast done I had to go out and buy a new kettle as the button on the old one finally broke, we are both hoping that we get our hair cut today well Helen cut coloured and styled and me mmm well just a straight forward cut. Helens appointment is at noon and if it is ok to leave her I am going to nip into the ferry and hopefully get mine done straight away. Last night I sat and watched football and had a couple of glasses of wine 🍷 I must have been tired as when I went to bed the room started spinning like I had a couple of bottles rather than glasses but it did help me sleep 😴. So let’s see what Saturday brings.
So we both have had our hair cut at last and boy it feels better but colder, Helen no longer has long hair but he has done a good job and she looks great I will see if she will let me take a photo. I went for walk after my hair cut along the waterfront it was s lovely what they have done the new walkway is nice and as you get near the RNI building there is a very nice gate with dolphins and swans made from metal, I look forward to the day that the whole of this walkway is finished.
Helens nice has been for a while and it was nice to see her she is a lovely girl and loves her Auntie, Helen has gone to bed as she is worn out but it has been a very long week for her so tomorrow it is going to be a day of doing very little as she just needs a couple of days to try and relax and just have some peace. So tonight I am not sure if Helen will get up but if she does will be a Vienna blood 🩸 or if she does not I have a film Roger waters the wall.
16/01/22
Well a good start as Helen had a good nights sleep and she feels bit better for it which is great to see, she is going to have a shower today and then a bite to eat, i am not sure if she will get up for a while i hope so but as always i will leave it up to Helen as long as she is happy and comfortable then that’s all i want. Last night i ended up just watching rubbish with a couple of drams which was fine and was in bed and sleeping for the back of 12, i put something up on facebook in the hope that certain people would get in touch so i can tell them the situation and it did work and was good to here from these people and let them know as some of them probably know Helen longer than me and i was struggling how to tell them but it is done now. I have been to shops and after a bit to eat i may go for a walk but only if Helen decides to stay in bed if she wants to sit up then i will be sitting with her, she was smiling this morning and even phoned our neighbour to let her know how she is, well it is another chink of light and as i told her this morning we fight on and hope we get as much time together as possible.
Photos from couple walks the one in the middle is up in Arbroath cliffs Helen walking in front of me, was good i got her from the back as if she had been facing me i would have got the international Helen sign 😂 yup the twos up, i would give anything to be out walking with Helen again but i am not sure if it will happen but i can live in hope. So onto the rest of the day as at the moment i am having a bit of time in the man cave.
Well Helen is up and sitting beside me watching tv and hopefully we can have tea together which as I say would be good, I have just stayed pretty much around the house as it is not often we get this chance to sit together. Well tonight will be a quiet one as most are at the moment not only due to what is happening but due still as well to covid. So another week has come and gone and at the beginning I was worried at how bad things were and I sit here now beside Helen thankful that she is beside me and all I can hope for is more days like this, I finish with every chink of light we will grab, so until next week from myself byeeee.
Ged.
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